Widow’s Learning Curve

I wrote this originally for my poetry group as a narrative, prose poem, but they didn’t like the form, so I decided to send to to you, my ‘widow’ readers, having not written anything here in some time. [ one of the reasons-I”m now on Facebook].

Dinner last night with 3 other widows—–we all have learned somehow to manage the masses of paperwork that clutter out desks and our lives—We’ve learned to be assertive about getting the help we need. This year, I hired a new CPA, negotiated a new doctor, dealt with attorneys ( oh, yes, I have a new attorney too.). We’ve adjusted in various ways to not having a partner to go to dinner. We agreed the best solution is a pre-arranged dinner with threee others. We’ve learned when the question comes, ‘who is responsible for the major decisions in your life?” the answer is “I am” ( with the help of God!).
We’ve learned to rely on the people who are really your friends—those we can count on if we need someone to accompany us to the doctor–altho all but me have children and grandchildren, still for the most part we all navigate solo lives in the midst of a community of 500–we’ve learned some couples have pulled away while others have leaned in.
We’ve learned to get help from whatever source: friends, professionals, relatives.[ We pay more now for services that were accomplished by our husbands,] to share information and build each other up, knowing we are not alone, God Help us, we carry on. ( written 6/20/15)

I’m going thru some difficult relationship issues with this food committee I’ve gotten on, and I’m learning to push thru without a spouse to lean on, but it’s not easy, and one of the reasons it’s more difficult to keep up this blog.
I’m really looking forward to a 5 day visit from my sis-in-law, Ann early in August! Hope your summer is not as baking hot as it’s been in California. We are starting to gety sea breezes again, which is a big help.

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